Mini Backstory: So, I haven't had this car long, and during the test drive, I noticed the washer system worked because the spray came from the wiper arms instead of the bonnet like most cars. Cool, right?
Fast forward to the other day, and suddenly—no washer spray. I’d get the blades doing their swipe routine, but no liquid action. Strange. Time to investigate!
Step 1: Fuses! Checked them all. They seemed fine. But still no spray. Weird?
Step 2: Headed to the rear tank and siphoned out the fluid like some kind of backyard chemist. Got the “low fluid” warning, so at least I knew the rear sensor was doing its job. Still, I wasn’t sure about the front tank. Maybe it was full? Maybe it wasn’t? The mystery deepened.
Step 3: This morning, I decided to get serious. Off came the arch liner (as per YouTube University’s instructions), and I pulled out the pumps. Gave them a good clean, tested them in the shed (because why not?), and they worked like a charm. Great, right? Put everything back together, added fluid, test again, and... NOTHING. Cue facepalm.
Now I’m thinking: “Okay, it’s got to be a relay issue.” Quick check on Google and forums... nothing. Not even a whisper about relay locations or numbers. Awesome.
Step 4: Called Jaguar Parts. “I’ll just buy a new relay,” I thought. Spoiler: Jaguar Parts was closed for stocktake until Monday. Great timing. So, I called up my local car parts centre, hoping they could save the day. After a 10-minute call, even the guy on the other end was stumped. Sure, he could sell me a relay... but had no idea where to put it.
Step 5: Desperation setting in, I called Jaguar Cambridge. Three of us on the phone now (including a very helpful parts guy and his colleague), and the best we could figure was: “It’s one of three relays—a black one, a grey one, and a 70-amp one.” But... which one? Even they had no clue. Apparently, relay questions are not common at Jaguar HQ.
Back to the car: More manual-checking, more forum-posting, more head-scratching. At this point, I’m starting to question my life choices.
And then, the twist! Now, bear in mind this car is new to me, and I’m still getting to know it. My previous car (a Jaguar XE-S) had a similar stalk layout, so muscle memory kicked in. I was pulling the stalk, expecting the good ol’ squirt and wipe action like in my XE-S. But here’s where things get funny...
Turns out, in the F-Type, the washer is not triggered by pulling the stalk. Nope. It’s a button on the end of the stalk! Yes, a button. And yes, I had spent days troubleshooting the entire system when all I had to do was press the button.
Naturally, I pressed it... and voilà! It worked. I mean, of course it worked.
Moral of the story: After all that, it wasn’t a fuse, pump, or relay. It was 100% user error. In my defence, pulling the stalk gives you a single wipe in the F-Type, so I assumed it was attempting to wash without spraying fluid. On my XE-S, pulling the stalk was the washer motion, so I didn’t even think about pressing a button. Classic me.
I was this close to just telling you all “it’s sorted, must’ve been a loose fuse or something trivial,” but no—I’m owning up to my own stupidity. Turns out, sometimes the most complicated problems have the simplest (and most embarrassing) solutions.
Hope this gives you all a laugh! Thanks again for the help, and maybe this will save someone else from tearing their car apart looking for non-existent relay issues.
